Monterrey Mission Trip Part 3

Welcome back! Are you ready to hear more about my journey? I hope you’ve got a few minutes because what I’m going to share with you is straight from my heart and makes me feel vulnerable, but it was one of the most significant things that happened to me on this trip.

I’ve heard it said that when someone goes on a short-term mission trip it does more for the person going than it does for the ones in country. I would agree.

What an amazing view! We could see the major mountains from this lookout. My fav is still Cerro de la Silla (behind my head). Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

What an amazing view! We could see the major mountains from this lookout. My fav is still Cerro de la Silla (behind my head). Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

We spent a considerable amount of time driving around Monterrey. Depending on what your perspective of “missions” is, that time spent in the car could’ve been perceived as a waste, but for me it was like attending a discipleship seminar. Pastor Armando and Pastor Chris spent hours sharing what God had placed on their hearts concerning ways to make disciples who make His way known. These men have a lot of experience helping people along their journey with Christ. I’m privileged to have been able to hang around them and listen.

Being together as a team was special for me.

Monterrey-mamas

Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

I felt like God deposited something in my spirit during that time of being together and listening to each other. It wasn’t until a conversation with my sister a few days later that I felt like I had words to wrap around the truth God placed inside of me.

Let me explain: I think I have a very flighty personality. I jump from hobby to hobby. If I like something it’s easy for me to feel like I want to do that one thing for the rest of my life. And then I reach a point where I don’t enjoy that one thing and I’m ready to move on to the next “thing.” Being in Mexico brought back so many emotions for me. There were moments when I could daydream what my life would look like if my family moved there. It is like a fantasy experience. Some of you may be thinking, “Girl, if I’m dreaming of moving with my family somewhere, it ain’t gonna be the deserts of Mexico!” It’s okay. It makes me chuckle, too. I am not the most logical person you’ve ever encountered.

Reality is that I was only there for five days. We visited some major tourist spots and had a wonderful time. Someone was serving us a lot of the time. We stayed in a nice hotel. We ate great food. I did not have to clean, cook, shop for groceries, make beds, do bedtime routines with toddlers, referee conflict, or run an errand for my husband in those five days. I pretty much did what I wanted to do.

That is not real life. That is a vacation.

Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

I did serve with the team and we did minister to people I absolutely want to see again. But again, it was for a brief moment in time. And that is not what God called me to in this season of life.

Monterrey-telling jokes

Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

I think as women it’s easy to resent that. We can get bitter when our talents and skills are directed to serve our families instead of people in a public arena that stroke our egos and swoon over how talented we are.

Hello? I’m talking to you. I’m feeling vulnerable. I only hear crickets out there. If you were sitting with me, would you say, “Yes! I totally know what you’re talking about!” or would you say, “What are you talking about? You are the most egotistical, self-serving, selfish, self-focused person I’ve ever met!”

Can I be brutally honest with you?

It feels good to have people I don’t know compliment me.

There were moments when thoughts crossed my mind like:

  •  “See, they really appreciate me! I want to be around people that recognize the skills and talents I have.”
  • “See how special I feel when I’m ministering in front of people? This feels more valuable than what I’m doing at home.”
  • “What I’m doing at home is going unnoticed and unappreciated.”
  • “I was made for more than scrubbing toilets, changing diapers, wiping snotty noses, being a taxi driver and a maid.”

Notice how self-centered those thoughts are?

If left unchecked, those kinds of thoughts can take me to a very dark place. In those moments of decision where I can indulge my fantasy of what life would look life if (fill in the blank) I am best served to remember, “(for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of strongholds), CASTING DOWN IMAGINATIONS, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ;” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).

I wasn’t tempted to leave my family and move to Mexico. I was tempted to believe a lie about my life. I was tempted to become dissatisfied with my lot and my portion in life. You don’t have to go on a mission trip to experience that. I can imagine some of you reading this have been living in the pig pen of ungratefulness for a while. I’m not here to judge. I’m giving you a hug and telling you that you’re not alone. I get it. And there’s a way out of that dark place.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit inside me brought truth to my heart:

  • “I called you to be a wife to your husband and a mother to your children.”
  • “I see everything that happens in your home. Your service to your husband and children does not go unnoticed. Your home is a precious training ground in My eyes.”
  • “If you choose to minister to men and not to Me, you will not be happy with the end result. You will come to the end of your life and be very disappointed with what you have to show for living as a people-pleaser.”
  • “The legacy you leave in your home has the power to impact multitudes.”
  • “When you faithfully and intentionally serve your family with a heart full of gratitude and joy you are making a difference.”
Monterrey-Jodi-Rebecca

Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

And He knew me. He knew all I was thinking. He knew the memories I have. He knew the dreams still in seed form in my heart.

The truth is that God will not call me where my husband is not. I don’t really want to move to Mexico right now. But if some major shift like that is God’s will, then He will let my husband know. My husband and I will come into agreement around that issue. It will be life-giving to our family.

The truth is that my husband has no desire to up and move to Mexico. He’s happy to visit and be friends with people all around the world, but he’s called to be here serving our community. And I’m called to be with him. Period.

I don’t know what my travel itinerary will be in the future, but I feel like an important question was settled deep inside me. I am called to live a life full of purpose, full of gratitude, full of life and joy right here and right now. I will own my life and not make excuses for not engaging in that which is before me.

I will use all that God has given me to bring Him glory in whatever capacity I can.

Monterrey-Plaza

Photo courtesy Abbie Kellum

 

 photo signature_zps99ea623c.png

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge