Speak into the Chaos

I really enjoy listening to Focus on the Family’s podcasts on my phone while I fold laundry or cook supper. If you don’t have their app on your phone I strongly encourage you to download it. It’s free! So the other day I was listening to Shaunti Felhahn’s talk called “Changing Your Relationships Through the Power of Kindness”.

I learned there are three components to kindness. One is not being negative. I can’t remember the other two. I figure applying at least one of the components is better than none at all, right?

So the next morning the girls and I are at the breakfast table before school and I share what I learned with them about choosing to not be negative. We connected in this moment. And that was all it was. A moment.

Not 15 minutes later I was raising my voice, yelling and trying to hustle my kids to school on time. Not my best moment.

They got in the car and I had to walk around the house turning of lights, gathering my stuff up and cooling my jets. I get so frustrated with myself for not disciplining them sooner. Drs. Cloud and Townsend are guest speakers on Focus on the Family’s radio broadcast every now and then. I heard them say that when we start getting angry and acting out it’s because a boundary has been crossed. If we would enforce healthy boundaries, then we don’t get so emotionally out of control. It’s healthier for everyone.

So I got in the car and apologized to my girls for yelling. It went something like this, “Girls, I am sorry for yelling. It’s inappropriate and that’s not the way I want to treat you. I should have sent you to your room for discipline when you started making bad choices. Will you forgive me?”

What they said next was quite funny and yet very telling.

“It’s okay, Mom! We forgive you! And don’t worry about the yelling. We don’t mind at all!”

Isn’t that the truth? Yelling is such a default for me, but it is not effective!

The next day I had a little sequel to this episode in that it was time to enforce some boundaries.

I told my 4-year-old that when we got back to the house she’d need to go sit on her bed for discipline. She told me, “It’s okay, Mom. You can yell at me. It doesn’t hurt my ears!” My word. I really wanted to laugh. In that moment I could sense God showing me a picture in my heart.

I told her, “It might not hurt your ears right now, but I don’t think that it will be good for your heart in the long run. You see, God doesn’t yell at us. He speaks to us in a still, small voice, but He disciplines us effectively.”

We were at the YMCA headed back home and I get all this download leaving the parking lot! God really is with us everywhere!

Even Jesus, when he was in the midst of a terrible storm, didn’t yell his head off at the storm. He spoke into the chaos and it submitted itself to him. God has called me and given me the authority to be a mom to these girls. He promised me that He will help me. If I am feeling chaos in my home it is absolutely possible for me to speak into it and bring discipline to unruliness. My kids are not bad. I love them dearly. When I enforce boundaries with them they are so much more happy and my heart is settled. Maybe not in the moment, but it absolutely brings peace.

I’m not going to quit working for kindness and peace in my home.

How did God speak to your heart about fostering peace in your home?

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Comments

  1. That’s really good Jodi!! I am working on this at home as well!! Thanks sister!!

    • jodilafrance says:

      Thanks, Amber! Grace to you as you agree with Holy Spirit in this area. You are a wonderful woman and I’m glad we’re friends!

  2. Thank you for sharing Jodi!

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